Meditation

Although I have several friends who are into meditation, I’ve never bought into it. I’ve tried it multiple times, all unsuccessfully. 

In groups, I hate to close my eyes—either I refuse to close them, which seems to mess up the entire routine, or I spend the entire time worrying about what everyone around me is doing when I can’t see them. For a technique that’s supposed to calm me, it does the exact opposite.

In private, my mind refuses to shut down. I think about articles I read, people I’ve bee talking to, or I wonder how long until the damn timer goes off and I can stop what I’m doing.

However, it was recommended to me, again, and I decided to see what happens. I’ll admit, I’m going in with a “this is never going to work,” attitude, but I’m trying to psych myself out of that by saying “it can’t hurt to try.” Not sure which attitude is working at the moment.

So far, as expected, I’m not really able to clear my mind. At least, not for more than about three seconds in any ten-minute attempt. Someone better than I am with numbers will recognize that’s a pretty lousy percentage. But I’m still trying for the moment.

When my mind finishes scrolling through all my to-do lists, things that worry me, news articles I’ve read, plots for new books, and random clutter, it tends to latch onto two things, both of which make me laugh. They are scenes from two movies/shows—the meditation attempts by Dr. Strange when he first goes to Tibet (?), and the meditation practices of Trade Minister Tagomi in The Man in the High Castle. Maybe I think I’m them? It would be cool to be able to have any of Dr. Strange’s powers, or to transport to another time period. Somehow, though, I don’t think that’s the point of my meditation.

Banana Girl loves meditation, because she falls asleep doing it. I have to admit, that’s pretty tempting, too, although it hasn’t happened to me yet. I’m not quite sure how long I’m going to attempt this before once again giving up. I have great admiration for people who can successfully do this. I’m just not convinced I’m one of them.