Limbo

This week is weird.

We dropped Princess off at camp on Sunday, but Banana Girl still has school. Camp drop-off didn’t feel like camp drop-off—it wasn’t crazy, there were no first-timers trying to figure out what to do and I didn’t insist on keeping my 10-minute unpacking and leaving record. We didn’t come home to an empty house and dinner was chosen by our remaining child. That hasn’t happened in years.

Today is the first day of summer, even though in my head that occurs on the 21^st.

This should be the first day of my “summer vacation,” but in fact, Banana Girl will be home at 11:45 for the next two days. So my freedom is restrained. We don’t have the bustle of school, but we do have the craziness of studying for finals and last-minute camp packing.

She said goodbye to most of her friends this weekend at a BBQ, yet she’s still seeing them this week (and I'm still carpooling and transporting and schlepping). I still have to get up early to get her off to school, but I don’t have to pack anyone’s lunch.

She’s not filled with insane anxiety about packing, although she’s packing enough clothes for four people—maybe there’s nothing to be anxious about when you pack every piece of clothing you own? This year she’s finally adopting the T-shirt and crappy clothing for camp philosophy, although she insisted on purchasing new makeup (she doesn’t wear it during the year).

Princess is allowed to use her phone, so she texts me. I’m trying not to contact her, since I want her to have this time away, but it’s weird seeing her location active in a place it usually isn’t. Of course, she’s using her phone to send me lists of everything she needs, so the novelty is going to get old really quick.

And in the meantime, I’m hovering in that limbo area of waiting for everything to start, even though it all sort of has.

Like I said, this week is weird.