I Think We’re Doing It Wrong

My husband and I have adjusted pretty well, I think, to having both girls away at school. We still have things to talk about, we enjoy spending time together, and we don’t get on each other’s nerves any more than we usually do. At least, I think that’s true.

But our latest “couple time activity” might need some work. We’re cleaning the basement together. 

Now, he’s a packrat and I’m not. This has always been a point of contention between us, but after more almost twenty-five years of marriage, we’ve learned to compromise. I keep my mouth shut about all the things he wants to save, he lets me get rid of things when the stuff piles up and starts to drive me crazy, and periodically, we take on a project of cleaning things out. We pick our battles, and it works.

Last time, it was the garage. He didn’t want to clean it out, but I might have precipitated the project by my own method of cleaning it—using a leaf blower to clean, and in the process, cover EVERYTHING with dust. Oops. Not the smartest, but definitely an effective, way to get the garage cleaned.

The basement was less dramatic. I’ve been telling him for months that we really need to clean out the storage area, and he’s agreed. It was just a matter of finding the time. Most couples decide to devote an hour or two a week to going out on a date night, or watching a movie together, or having an adventure. We’ve declared Sunday mornings Basement Cleaning Time. Like I said, I think we’re doing this wrong.

So we started. Last week, we cleaned out the luggage area, and found bags and suitcases that we each got for our high school graduations. Miraculously, we parted with them, and found people to donate them to. This week, we started sorting through storage containers. We still found things that predate our marriage, but some of that is actually worth saving (shh, don’t tell my husband). I convinced him to get rid of things he was saving for “someday we might need it” and he convinced me to save things “because I’m already giving in on other stuff.” Like I said, compromise.

We’re in the early stages of cleaning, so it really doesn’t look like we’ve accomplished much. Hopefully, someday. In the meantime, if you have any better ideas for “couple time,” I’ll gladly take them.