Zombies Are Not For Breakfast

I usually walk in the mornings around our lake. During the pandemic, however, both my dog and I have been less inclined to do so. Still, exercise is essential to my mental health, so when I don’t walk outside in the mornings, I use our elliptical in the basement (for posts about that, click here). 

I hate elliptical machines. Mostly because they’re boring, and I have nothing to do but think about how much I’m sweating, something I also hate doing. So, in the winter, actually before the pandemic, when it was cold and I knew I’d need to exercise inside at least sometimes, I asked friends on Facebook for show suggestions to watch. 

They gave me a great list.

Or so I thought.

It started out well and I’ve discovered some fantastic ones—Gran Hotel, Modern Love, Kominsky Method, and Why Women Kill (I know, that seems like a no-brainer). 

There have been a couple that I’m not sure about—Killing Eve, which I’m actually watching with my husband, and Dead to Me (can’t explain why, but meh).

And then there was the one I started today, Santa Clarita Diet.

Someone obviously doesn’t know me well, and I obviously did no research into this show. It’s about a woman who becomes a zombie.

I hate zombies. Give me vampires, werewolves, ghosts, whatever. They’re great. I loved True Blood, so it’s not like my paranormal friends need to sparkle. But zombies? Hard no.

And do you know how she becomes a zombie? She vomits. So much, that she vomits out her heart, dies and comes back to life. 

Did I mention I watched this at 7:30 am, before breakfast? 

It’s supposed to be a comedy. I think. I’m picky about my comedies and this one, well, I didn’t find funny. The stereotypes about violent cops and “maybe you got a virus from a monkey or a bat” didn’t exactly play well right now either.

I’m sure others find it funny. Clearly, whomever recommended it to me did. And really, if you’re the one who did, I don’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m glad you like this show. I’m pretty sure it’s fairly well received. So I’m the outlier and it’s totally fine. In fact, the person probably recommended other shows to me that I’ll enjoy—seriously, that list is long! So if it was you, don’t worry, I still like you.

Just no more zombies.