Tuesday, September 8, 2015

School Supply Lists Are Evil

School supply lists are the bane of my existence. I’m totally on board with having to purchase our own supplies. I don’t mind that part, actually. What I do mind is:

Receiving the school supply lists in dribs and drabs during the first three weeks of school. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t love making daily trips to Staples.

Receiving the school supply lists after all the school supplies on said lists are sold out. Still haven’t figured out how my child is supposed to show up the next day with all the requested supplies. And don’t even get me started on how Staples can run out of notebooks.

Receiving the school supply lists after the school supply stores have ended their school supply sales. This is obviously an evil plot.

Teachers who refuse to put the item in their head onto the list, forcing me to be a mind reader. I can barely figure out what’s in my head, please don’t make me peek into yours.

Schools that have trained my kids for the past eight years to get exactly and only the specific supply, brand, color and size of the item they want, and then turn around and suddenly decide to allow students to get whatever they want. My child spins in circles in the aisles and vibrates with anxiety. Which makes me vibrate too.

I am convinced that these lists are created by teachers who don’t have any children of their own for whom to purchase school supplies, because if they did, our lists wouldn’t look like they do.

So, I have a suggestion: Staples should sell wine.

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