Self-Sabotage

I just realized I self-sabotage myself. Those of you who know me well may have already figured this out about me. You’re probably also thinking that I’m pretty slow if I just figured it out myself. Well, that’s just the way it goes. But for the rest of you, let me explain.

Writing is my job. According to the IRS, it might only be a hobby, but I treat it like a job. I have times dedicated to writing, marketing, editing, etc. I invest in classes to improve my craft. I even feel guilty when I don’t accomplish enough in one day. 

I whine when people don’t take what I do seriously. Yet, at the same time, I am the first one to push my writing commitments aside in favor of someone else’s time. And when those people apologize for interrupting me, I say, “Don’t worry about it.”

Ugh!

I’ll admit, my writing is not going to save anyone’s life or solve world hunger. It’s not more important than my family’s health. It does have to sometimes be set aside so I can do other things that also need to get done in a more timely fashion. But that doesn’t make it unimportant. And there’s absolutely no way I can expect other people to take me seriously if not only do I not take myself seriously, but I also give them an out. I did that for many years, placing myself last on the priority list. Even when my husband, who is my most supportive person ever, bar none, suggested I take more time write, I found other things to take precedence. And my writing suffered.

Two years ago, I changed all that. I dropped everything that wasn’t giving me joy and was taking me away from my writing. And I published several books. But I haven’t changed my mindset. And that’s my priority now. This year is going to be a rebuilding year for me. I have lots of writing plans, but I’m not sure where or how they will be published. So, while I write, edit, polish and query, I’m also going to work on my attitude.

There are plenty of people who take what I do seriously. It’s time for me to start believing it too.