Stress

Oh, the pressure to write these blog posts when there are so many things I don’t want to discuss or think about or talk about anymore. But writing is cathartic and helps alleviate stress.

The good thing about being under stress is that I’m learning what sets me off and what calms me down. As my husband will be sure to point out, just because I know what calms me down doesn’t mean I’m any good at actually taking advantage of it. J But at least identifying things is a good start.

I’m very good at giving advice to others to calm down and not stress about things. Advice is easy to give. It takes you outside of yourself, outside of the situation and makes it easier to stay objective. And it’s almost impossible to stress about something objectively. Try it!

I’ve tried making lists and working my way through them. That works to some extent, although the length of the lists, and the sub-lists that are created, are a bit daunting. But lists let me think I’m in control, even when I’m so clearly not.

What I’ve found works best is diversion. Walking the dog, when the weather cooperates, is great. It lets my brain relax. I can make up stories in my head, think about other things, or just drift off and admire the view.

When the weather doesn’t cooperate, I write. Not here and not about what bothers me. I write and edit my stories. I disappear into my characters’ lives, which I can control. I forget about everything pressing down on me and I create a “happily ever after” for them. I ignore me for a while.

I didn’t think I’d get much writing done, because I’ve always wanted to concentrate, to have the circumstances be just right. But I’ve learned to be flexible. I’ve learned to focus my concentration on what is on my screen and what my fingers are doing, rather than on my surroundings or the many “what ifs” in my head. And it seems to be working. I’m flying through pages and pages of edits. I’m rewriting scenes and creating new ones.

I wouldn’t recommend this state of mind for writers, or anyone, on a regular basis, but as a temporary thing, it seems to be working. We’ll see what comes out of it and in the meantime, I’m looking ahead and waiting for everything to pass.

Eventually.

Grateful

I’m a pretty self-sufficient person. It’s not that there’s no one around to help me, it’s just that unless there’s a requirement for me to be in multiple places at the same time, I’m really able to do things myself. And I do them.

I’m also particular about how I do things, and I’d much rather do something myself, my way, than have other people do them in ways that I don’t like.

However, recently something happened that is requiring meto depend on the help of many others in order to get things done and keep life as we’re used to moving along in as uninterrupted a way as possible.

And you know what? I’ve discovered that there are a lot of people willing to step in, step up and help out. Some of those people surprise me; they’re not on my “Go-To List” that I’d ordinarily think of when I need help. Others have shown me why they’re my friends in the first place. And my family, of course, is always willing to step in at a moment’s notice—even at 7 a.m.!

It’s a nice preview of the months to come. There’s a warm fuzzy feeling when a friend says, “Let me help you.” There’s gratitude when someone understands that I just can’t handle One. More. Thing. and they take over for me. And there’s tremendous appreciation when someone does something without being asked.

I still rely on my own independence. But it’s nice to know that my safety net is bigger than I thought it was. And to all those weaving those supporting strands, a huge thank you!